Don't ridicule a child's parent in front of them, even in jest.

Yesterday my supervisor brought his son in for a special day at work with dad. Considering that it was a very slow day (New Year's Eve) with most other employees having taken the day off, I thought it was a really wonderful thing for him to do.

A few of my colleagues came throughout the morning to meet the boy, and welcome him to the office. My desk is located right outside the room where my supervisor was working, and I could hear all of the conversations my colleagues had with the boy and his dad.

One conversation I overheard is the subject of this blog. The woman took interest in what the boy was working on, and for some reason decided to use the moment to tease my supervisor in front of the boy. "We don't need your dad, do we!" was one comment, that she repeated a few times. "He's not as smart as we are, is he!" "We've got this down without him, don't we!" Each statement was phrased as a question that was meant to lead the boy to agree.

I have no idea how my supervisor felt as a result of those comments. If it had been me, I would have been angry and hurt. I'm sure he was at a loss as to how to respond.

So was I. I sat at my desk trying to think of something to say to counter the assault. I was angry at the woman, and angry at myself for not knowing how to react. My slow brain failed me and it wasn't until I'd slept on it, angrily replaying the moment over and over, that I finally came up with something that I wish I had said. I hope I will remember it if I'm ever in a similar situation. I wish I had gone into the room and said to the boy, "You know she's just joking, don't you? Your dad is one of the smartest people I know. He is well-respected here. We would be at a loss to do our jobs without his guidance." And all of that would have been true.

When someone brings their kid to work, they are showing the kid off to their *second family*. But they are also showing their kid what they do all day. They are using it as a teaching moment and a bonding moment. Why in the world would someone think it is funny to sabotage that by driving a wedge between the kid and his parent?

Kids don't have well-developed bullshit detectors. Imagine the seeds that were thoughtlessly and inappropriately planted in the boy's trusting mind, about someone he needs to rely on. What kind of message did that boy receive from the woman? That it is ok to ridicule your parent in front of others? That his dad may not be respected by his colleagues? That his dad doesn't really know what he's doing?

I hope I will learn from this scenario. It reminds me how important it is to think through situations like this ahead of time in order to be prepared to respond. Other situations to think through might be:

* What to do if someone makes a racist comment against someone in a crowd
* What to do if someone is threatening another person
* What to do if someone is having a medical emergency and others around are ignoring it

What do you think I could have done in this situation?